How to succeed at internet dating
It definitely wasn’t love at first sight, she said — that took a while.In other words, according to my friend, Internet dating is just as unpredictable as the non-digital version.
“Picking a partner is not the same as buying a pair of pants.” (MORE: Online Dating Enjoying a Boom Among Boomers) Making things harder, many sites now depend on — and heavily market — their supposedly scientific formulas for matching you with your soul mate based on similar characteristics or personality types.But social science studies have found that such a priori predictors aren’t very accurate at all, and that the best prognosticators of how people will get along come from the encounters between them.In other words, it’s hard to tell whether Jim and Sue will be happy together simply by comparing a list of their preferences, perspectives and personality traits before they meet.“No, because I couldn’t stand him when I first met him,” she says of her husband.She thought he was full of himself and rude during their first encounter.Everyone knows someone who met their spouse online.
A friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in years told me recently that she, too, met her husband on an Internet dating site.
It may seem intuitively logical that people who share the same tastes or attitudes would be compatible, but love, in many cases, doesn’t work that way.
Some online dating sites, for example, attempt to predict attraction based on qualities like whether people prefer scuba diving to shopping, or reading to running, or whether they tend to be shy or more outgoing.
You never know how things are going to evolve until they do.
But the benefit, she says, is that dating online gives you access to a lot more people than you’d ordinarily ever get to meet — and that’s how she connected with her future husband.
It also means that b) people may unknowingly skip over potential mates for the wrong reasons.